Emma Rose Hirschmann

Bipolar and I

My name is Emma Rose Hirschmann. I am 19 years old, and my human story is about living a life with mental illness. My life with Bipolar.

I grew up in beautiful Roleystone. However, I dreaded primary school from a young age. I was always a bigger girl and found myself to be the target for bullies, but I found a passion for music and was soon offered a scholarship to a specialist music high school.

The next few years, I finally started to feel connected and supported in my school and community and surrounded myself with a loving support network, but slowly things began to change.

After seeing a specialist, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and told that I would need to take medication immediately. I became a shell of my former self, withdrawing from friendships, family gatherings, and other social events until I was isolated in my room. I was no longer capable of attending school and left in year 10, at this point suicidal and living minute by minute.

My support network slowly faded, and friends whom I thought were always there for me left. Loneliness came to stay, and I wasn't prepared for it.

I soon realised I had just my mum and a handful of dedicated individuals by my side for this journey.

After all my trauma, I decided I wanted to turn my pain into passion and start doing what I love and enjoy. In early 2019 I reached out to the Songs of Hope Project, which is aimed at getting 10 WA musicians together and creating a collective album with songs based on our mental health journeys. From there, so many doors opened for me. I released my first single and auditioned for Telethon. I spoke at multiple mental health seminars and mental health aliases about my story and regularly performed live on Inspire Radio with my show, focusing on mental health. Singing live at functions promoting mental health and so much more. It's been fantastic to experience so much.

At the end of last year, my mental health started to deteriorate yet again, but this time it was different. I started experiencing manic highs and lows. These periods where I would feel on top of the world, almost invincible, but I would do stupid and irresponsible things like go out and spend all my money or drive very erratically. Then I would come crashing down and have depressing episodes. These highs and lows could last anywhere from hours to days. After seeing my doctor and specialist, I soon got a diagnosis of bipolar type 2.

To my great shock and honour, this year, I won Armadale Youth Citizen of the Year, which I was ecstatic about, especially after everything I had been through the past couple of months.

For the longest time, I had a victim complex and now, looking back on my childhood, I can see I had mental health issues from a young age. I've learned to let that go. I know that this is a lifelong battle I'm facing, with many twists and turns to come, but I'm blessed to have amazing support by my side for when it does.

My journey has made me realise everyone has their struggles, insecurities and reasons for lashing out, and I wish those people nothing but the best with their journeys. If you carry that victim complex, you will always be the victim.

We are all different, and that's something to be celebrated; never let anybody bring you down. Your diagnosis and mental illness don't define you, don't let it win. Look at it as a blessing rather than a curse. I know that mental illness makes me more sympathetic, loving, and passionate. It drives me to want to help others.

When it does win, and trust me, there will be times where it does, there is help, so much help. You are never alone.